Surreal

Today I’m taking my book of common prayer to my liturgics exam with me. It’s one of the limited sources allowed for the exam.

Last night I put it with my back pack so I wouldn’t forget it.

This is the same book of common prayer I was given for Confirmation 20 years ago. It’s been a lot of places with me, including camping, youth retreats, and my postulancy retreat. It is small, white, leather-bound with a gold cross of the front. It has gold-edged onion paper and ribbons in liturgical colors. The ribbons have lived in different spots in the book over the years. They’ve taken their turn at Compline and Morning Prayer, and sometimes had the misfortune to wind up spending time in Burial, Rite I. For a long time they just sat in the front of the book unused and ignored. Later the red ribbon spent a great deal of time marking the pages for Marriage. Right now the purple ribbon lives in Ordination of a Priest. It’s been there for the last couple of years.

I never, ever imagined when I was confirmed two decades ago that someday I’d take that little book to a middler year exam at the only seminary I’d ever heard of as a child. At the time I was confused, lost, questioning whether God even existed, hoping that confirmation would confer some sort of knowledge I didn’t already have, and covered with chicken pox that had healed just enough for me to be in public.

Well, the chicken pox are long gone and on my best days so is the confusion and many of the questions. But the book is still with me.

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~ by Sophia on December 18, 2007.

One Response to “Surreal”

  1. I am SO GLAD you are still blogging!

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